33 Winning Attitudes

How Your Body Rewards You for Success, 
and Punishes You for Failure. 

Winning leads to winning and losing leads to losing.

This statement seems so obvious that most people overlook the power of a few simple words to state an evident truth. If you want to win more, then win more and lose less. If you enjoy losing, then lose more which will lead to losing more.

The reason for this simple and yet profound logic is because of our hormones. Our bodies punish us for losing and reward us when we win. These hormones plus the conclusions we draw from the experience determine our attitude towards the next engagement.

When our attitude is confident and we are sure of ourselves, the chances of overcoming minor setbacks and succeeding long term are much greater. On the other hand, when we are less confident, unsure and doubtful, the probability of being stopped by minor setbacks is higher, and the likelihood of failure almost assured!

After a loss, we feel depressed, less aggressive, lower mood level and are more skeptical towards our chances of succeeding in the future.

After a win we feel high, are more aggressive, have a higher mood level are more optimistic towards the future and are encouraged about our chances of winning again in the future.

It doesn’t seem to matter if the win/loss scenario is small or large. Really? The best strategy is to take on small challenges were the stakes are low, and the risk of failure is little, apply yourself and win! Once you get used to winning, take on larger and larger challenges with confidence and win at them too! Your body will reward you with a rush of feel good hormones.

If you take on too large a challenge and fail, you are more and more likely to fail with each subsequent loss.

Small wins lead to BIG WINS. Small
losses lead to BIG LOSSES.

If you suffer too many losses in a row, even the very best, most resilient person will start to doubt themselves and make up things that may not be true, causing your entire operating paradigm to crash!

Over time the feeling of losing sets in and hardens into an attitude or set of attitudes that make long-term success tough. These people tend to be more negative in disposition and find it difficult to see the positive or bright side in anything.

Over the past thirty years, I have observed many good people fail, and even more, bad people succeed.

I concluded that being good or bad seems to have little bearing on short-term success. Having said that, I have seen many people succeed in the area they were obsessed with only to fail in the fields of life that matter most.

Does that mean we have a free license to do what we want and to be as bad as we want to be? No! There are many benefits of choosing right action over wrong action.

Back in the late 2000’s we were working with a handful of business leaders and entrepreneurs who had been struggling to gain traction for their newly launched companies and projects. We got together in a group and debriefed what was going on. Often there are two reasons why things are not working:

    1.    The reason we tell ourselves.

    2.    The real reason.

Due to personal biases and self-protecting mechanisms, most people prefer to protect their fragile ego’s and to lie to themselves.

After what seemed like forever, we identified a list of 33 Losing Attitudes and their corresponding Winning Attitudes.

The best way to use this list is to determine a Losing Attitude you have, and consciously over time focus on shifting this attitude to the Winning Attitude. Often, this involves flashbacks to the original incident or incidents where we failed, which led to the chain of events that resulted in the losing attitude.

Once you have mastered one attitude, move on to the next one. You will be amazed at how your results will transform in no time!

Here is the list of 33 Attitudes: 

LOSING ATTITUDE WINNING ATTITUDE
1 Resentment and jealousy towards successful people > Honor and respect towards successful people
2 Lone Ranger attitude (to prove oneself) > Collaborate and cooperate with others
3 Thinking and playing small > Thinking and playing big
4 Not listening to feedback > Listening to all feedback
5 Resistant to other peoples ideas > Open and receptive to other peoples’ ideas
6 Resistant and slow to change > Enthusiastic and fast to change
7 Feigning agreement > Agreeing or not agreeing openly
8 Not speaking up > Speaking up at the first available opportunity
9 Misplaced feelings/emotions > Accurate perception of and assigning the right feeling/emotion to the right area
10 Procrastination > Taking action as soon as possible
11 Blaming others for results > Ownership of results without blame, justification or denial
12 Making excuses > Ownership without excuses
13 Low ethics > High ethical standards
14 Agreeing to rules and breaking them > Making agreements and keeping them
15 Unreliable (low or negative trust) > Establishing trust and reliability
16 No plan or not following the plan > Planning and following through with the plan
17 Competition with teammates > Cooperation with teammates
18 Not asking for help when needed > Asking for and accepting help as needed
19 Cheap and stingy > Focus on value and generosity
20 Fear of mistakes > Accepting that mistakes do happen
21 Fear of success > Embracing success
22 Fear of failure > Embracing and learning from failure
23 Playing not to lose > Playing to win
24 Gambling and taking unnecessary risks > Taking calculated risks
25 Hoping things will work out > Believing things will work out and taking positive action
26 Listening to other peoples’ opinions about what cannot be done > Keeping ones own counsel and following through on ones own beliefs
27 Fear of commitment > Making commitments and following through on them
28 Waiting for other people to make the first move > Taking the first step to initiate and follow up
29 Delegating to others and relying on them to produce results > Empowering others and following up and following through
30 Taking the first no for an answer > Continuing to ask until someone says yes
31 Blaming our parents for not doing it right > Forgiving our parents and choosing differently
32 Sacrifice one area of life for another > Seeing success holistically – including all areas of life
33 Focus on money or relationships > Focus on money and relationships

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© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

Thirteen Tips to Be a Net Energy Generator

emotionally bankrupt means you put out less

In this article, you will discover thirteen tips
to be a Net Energy Generator!

Imagine a battery that increases in power when you use it and decreases when you don’t. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Well, the incredible news is that you have such a battery… an emotional one!

This is how emotions work. The more you express or use them – the more they grow and the more energy you have. When you withhold, contain or suppress them the less energy you have.

This is why some people end up being emotionally bankrupt. They stop putting out or giving and end up taking. They say little which forces the other people around them to give by way of saying more to fill the empty space. Their emotional battery is empty. In other words they are emotionally bankrupt.

Emotionally bankrupt means you put out less than you receive. The key to success in life is to be a net generator of energy…

Whenever you give more than you receive, you are communicating to yourself, the world around you and other people that you believe in abundance. Regardless of your financial status or position in society, it is possible to generate more energy than you receive. Eventually the excess giving creates a vacuum that can’t help but flow back to you.

This positive flow back can be in the form of good luck, energy or good old CASH. Personally I have experienced all three. I find myself easily being in the right place at the right time… people respond positively to me and make huge efforts to give me what I am asking for. Sometimes without me even saying anything. Yup, sounds hokey, but it is true.

I was at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills the other day and ordered my usual organic chicken soup for lunch. The restaurant is also in Paris and when there, I like to order what they call a chicken Pot-au-feu and it comes automatically with Harissa (Tunisian hot chili pepper paste). So this day in Beverly Hills I thought of Harissa but didn’t say anything, in fact I didn’t even know if they had Harissa! Can you guess what happened? The waiter brought my usual chicken soup and without saying a word brought a jar of Harissa! Wow. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

If you are wondering if that is an isolated incident, I can assure you I have had too many experiences like this to count…

Most people think that emotions are like any other scarce resource that must be held back, saved and conserved. This is so wrong! Emotions are nothing like scarce resources, in fact they operate by different rules.

These rules can be learnt. Applied and if you do, you will experience an almost immediate increase in energy and wellbeing. Little by little you will become more and more lucky. How does that sound?

Thirteen tips to be a net energy generator:

  1. Tell people what you like about them or what they did.
  2. Greet people with enthusiasm.
  3. Smile.
  4. Give heartfelt appreciation whenever people give you something or do something for you.
  5. Use people’s names – they love it!
  6. Offer sincere and heartfelt compliments when they do something special or look exceptionally great.
  7. Show an interest in people’s lives and notice when they are not happy or are having a bad day.
  8. Ask how people are doing and listen when they tell you.
  9. Pay larger than normal tips to service staff.
  10. Always give more than you receive.
  11. Minimize complaining, and if you do complain, offer a solution.
  12. Leave every conversation or environment better off than when you found it.
  13. Look for the good purpose in every situation, regardless of how negative it may appear.

Good luck and here is to more energy! XOXO


If you are looking for help along the way, are committed to change and are ready for the most fun you can have as an adult in a crafted learning environment… check out the 3-Day GOLDZONE Experience. It will change your mind about learning, engage all your senses and most of all make you a better, more flowing and lucky leader!

To learn more about the exciting 3-Day GOLDZONE Experience click > here

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CHANGE > How Do You Respond?

Response to Change-6-19-15.001

One of the most uncomfortable aspects of life is that it involves constant and never ending change. And the pace of change isn’t slowing down anytime soon, in fact we live in an era of accelerating acceleration.

How you respond to change determines your level of stress, happiness and success.

if you are like most people change brings fear and uncertainty. We like things to stay the same. Often it feels like we are just getting used to and comfortable with things as they are… and bam… something or someone pulls the rug out from under us.

It takes a lot of self confidence to know that no matter what happens, no matter what changes – everything will be alright.

Our research has shown that people respond to change in one of 7 different ways. The least effective strategies are to deny, resist and accept change slowly. Higher up (meaning more effective) is to embrace change aggressively. Even more effective is to be enthusiastic and ultimately proactive which is where you preempt what is soon to happen by understanding and foreseeing the future.

By far the best is to adopt an attitude of “knowing” that change is constant and to respond to it in advance without even thinking about it. To live day by day with a balance of mind and heart. Secure in the knowledge that all change serves a higher purpose, we just have to trust and figure out what it is.

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© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

Movie: Flash of Genius

This is an exceptional movie with an awesome cast.  “Flash of Genius” tells the story of one man whose fight to receive recognition for his ingenuity would come at a heavy price.  Nobody thought he could win.  He becomes obsessed with justice and the conviction that his life’s work be acknowledged by those who stood to benefit.

This movie is about standing up for yourself – even though you may be the only one who believes in you and your mission.  This movie is also about justice and the price you may have to pay to get it.

Until One Is Committed

Many people have issues around commitment. This is probably because of the loss of freedom that goes along with committing to something, or someone.

Think about it. If you commit to something, what happens? Right after you make the commitment, everything that is the opposite comes up to challenge your commitment. If you commit to stop using profanities in public… the next time you are in public something will happen that will seduce you to want to use a profanity.

Then you think, “What does it matter anyway?” or I will “just do it this one time.” Then before you know it, your commitment is worthless and you find yourself back at square one.

This is why so many people have difficulty following through on their commitments. It is so easy to make the commitment when you are feeling good and are thinking about the theory of it, and another matter altogether to do it. The doing part takes emotional energy that was not needed when you first made the commitment. It is the emotional energy or the emotional aspect of the commitment that carries you through the difficult times as your commitment is challenged.

If you commit to something because you were threatened in the moment, then when you take the threat away, the commitment goes with it. If you get swept up in the emotion of a moment and make a commitment, then when the momentary emotional drive is gone (for example in a meeting, or a company conference where everyone is excited about making a goal, objective or ideal happen) the commitment goes with it.

Spiritual Commitment

The best type of commitment and the most long-lasting are the ones that move you, so you emotionally commit. Then there is no going back. Your emotional energy going in the positive direction of what the essence of the commitment is all about, along with the spiritual reason behind it, will have you unwavering. Typically, a spiritual level commitment involves connecting with the higher purpose of the commitment. This usually involves the “greatest good for the greatest number of people.

Overcommitment

If you commit to too many things without taking the time to emotionally and spiritually commit to seeing them through, then you will end up overestimating what you can reasonably achieve.  You will also make more commitments than you can keep.

Good As Gold

The key is to “make your word as good as gold,” which means that you make small commitments – and keep them – before committing to huge, big and overwhelming commitments. By making and keeping small commitments you build trust with yourself.  Plus others will also trust you more.

And this trust is the essence of building lasting relationships and is the key to success as a leader.

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Below is a quote from a book by William H. Murray. It’s an old one but relevant to this subject:

Until One Is Committed

William H. Murray (from his book “The Scottish Himalayan Expedition”)

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets:

“Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.”

© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

Don’t Aim at Success

“Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue… as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.”

– Victor Frankl