ZONE TIPS > Resolving Upsets

With the frequency of communication via text message and email increasing it is common to develop misunderstandings and end up with one or both parties upset. This leads to a loss of affinity, less collaboration and a feeling of disconnection.

There are four primary ways people respond to this type of upset:

  1. Cease communicating
  2. Communicate more to force a resolution
  3. Pretend that there is no upset and move forward anyway
  4. Call the person, discuss the misunderstanding and clear it up

While most people avoid upsets and do not want to confront what happened… there is no way to resolve an upset without communication. And yes, that means an apology may be in order!

Perhaps you have tried to resolve an upset by texting more or sending lengthy emails to explain yourself? This is a waste of time… the best tip for getting back into the zone is to pick up the phone or walk over and meet in person.

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© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

ZONE TIPS > Your Feelings Are Not Reliable

Feelings are important to our experience of living as human beings. It is said that all mammals have some feelings; however, as human beings we have the widest range of feelings. Beyond the basic triad of pain, pleasure and numb, we have a lot of nuances to describe how we feel at any given moment — about everything we experience.

When it comes to making decisions, even the most rational, seemingly emotionless decision-makers are, unbeknownst to them, influenced by their feelings — even if they are not consciously aware of them. Even no feeling is a feeling.

Because of past things that have happened to us (both real and imagined) we tend to have conflicting emotions, as well as stacks of misplaced emotions, that get projected onto items, areas, subjects and people that they do not belong to.

If we make decisions based on how we feel, we will often get ourselves into trouble. On the other hand if we ignore how we feel, and make decisions that are based on the ultimate rational logic, we will also get into trouble. So the optimum decision-making method is to balance both rational and emotional factors to arrive at the best outcome possible under the circumstances.

When it comes to working towards a goal or intended outcome, we can be succeeding and making progress, and yet our emotions could be indicating that nothing is working and we are going to fail!  The opposite is also true, where we are doing poorly and yet feel on top of the world.  Most people would think this is not possible, and that surely when going up, one would feel up, and when going down, one would have that dreaded sinking feeling. For a variety of reasons, our emotions get mixed up and we feel the wrong thing at the wrong time.  This leads us to make incorrect assessments and assumptions.

That sounds scary, so what do we do about it? The fastest, easiest and most reliable thing to do is to use statistics and measurements to track your progress.  Then there is no emotion involved and it is simply a matter of “What does the stat show”? An analogy for this is when a pilot is flying a plane in bad weather when they cannot see the horizon. The pilot’s feelings and sense of direction can get so confused by the lack of visual stimuli, that up feels like down and down can feel like up… yikes! How does a pilot handle this phenomena? They fly by instruments.  So, rather than relying on your feelings for your decision-making and assessment of how you are doing, look to your instruments — otherwise known as statistics.

Here are just some statistics that you could measure, record and plot on a graph to show progress and the trend over time (in no particular order):

  1. net worth
  2. bank balance
  3. weight
  4. body measurements
  5. mood level
  6. number of fights with people
  7. days without a fight
  8. number of magic moments
  9. income
  10. expenses
  11. blood pressure
  12. depressed days
  13. inspired days
  14. energy level
  15. total debt
  16. total assets
  17. days you exercise
  18. dates of sexual activity
  19. number of headaches
  20. dollars invested

This list is by no means exhaustive; there are many more items you could track statistics on. We recommend you make your own list and begin tracking stats!

BTW, some people will have feelings about stats and the accountability that comes with them.  These feelings may get in the way of taking action…

© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

ZONE TIPS > Cause & Effect

One of the key components to getting into “The Zone” and staying there is understanding and mastering Cause & Effect.

There is a lot to this subject and it is a bit technical. However, master this and you are sure to experience a transformation in your results!

What is Cause & Effect?  Everything that happens is an Effect that was Caused by something. Nothing occurs without something else Causing it to happen.  For example, a glass that was sitting on the table does not fall onto the floor by itself.  A person walking by may bump the table, Causing the glass to fall off the table, onto the floor, and breaking into pieces.

In this example, the EFFECT was the broken glass.  The CAUSE was the person who placed the glass too close to the edge of the table, which then combined with the person walking by. Often times, we get upset and angry at the EFFECT — and never really identify the CAUSE. Blaming the person who walked by and bumped the glass doesn’t solve the problem.  Yelling at them, punishing them, getting them back later… all achieve nothing as the TRUE CAUSE has not been identified. Since the CAUSE in this example was the person when they placed the glass on the edge of the table, the person walking by only played into it and therefore was the SECONDARY CAUSE.

Without the true Cause being identified, no lasting change is possible. For most of us, when something happens that we don’t want, don’t like, or detest, we blame the SECONDARY CAUSE rather than the TRUE CAUSE. And we can make all the changes to Secondary Causes we like – only to discover that our results remain unchanged.

If you want lasting change in any area, identify the TRUE CAUSES and change them. What is the TRUE CAUSE of the financial crisis? If you are experiencing financial difficulties or investment losses, what is the True Cause? Think about it. Have you identified Primary Causes or are you focusing on Secondary Causes?

The challenge for most people is that they spend a good deal of time being at Effect and not often being at Cause of their life, career, relationships, health, etc. Designing and living your ideal life requires you to be at Cause. Being at Cause simply means making decisions and operating from the perspective of Causing or SOURCING what you want, versus accepting the Effects of others.

In order to be at Cause, you must be able to be at Cause and at Effect. Sounds confusing, but in fact it is quite simple:

  • When you avoid being at CAUSE, you automatically put yourself at EFFECT. If you run away from something, you are at the Effect of the thing you are running away from.
  • When you are at Effect, it Causes you to be in REACTION to what is happening to you. Reacting to things that happen to you is very different from RESPONDING. Responding has you being at Cause.
  • If you just want to be Cause and avoid Effect, you automatically put yourself at EFFECT.
  • As a leader you are at Cause, on the other hand, as a follower, you are at Effect. This is why a lot of people don’t want to follow others — they don’t want to be at Effect of them. Choosing who you follow puts you at Cause over the Effect of the person you are following! (now that is a dichotomy!)

The bottom line is that in order to be in The Zone, we need to master being CAUSE, and being EFFECT.  Being Effect means being able and willing to experience anything. Sounds tough, but that is where true freedom is.

© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.

ZONE TIPS > Staying “In The Zone”

Most people know what “The Zone” is and have experienced moments in The Zone in their career, sports, money, etc. Typically these moments are infrequent and unpredictable at best,and most people have no idea how to get in The Zone whenever and wherever they choose.

The Zone feels like a quiet excitement with intensified focus. You feel a sense of confidence, total concentration, and an intense awareness. Your movements are easy, flowing and especially coordinated. You lose all sense of time as if another dimension has been added. You are completely focused on what you are doing and all other thoughts and feelings diminish.

When you “slip” out of The Zone, it feels like the opposite. Nothing flows. Movements are awkward. It is difficult to concentrate.

Here are some tips for getting and staying in The Zone:

  1. Whenever you engage with people, ask yourself if you are in The Zone or not? If you are, great! If not, ask yourself what one thing you could do that would move you into The Zone the fastest with the least amount of effort.
  2. You do not need to be in The Zone all the time, just when you are doing the most important things.
  3. Take time at the beginning of each day to postulate your day, and again at the end of the day to review and contemplate how your day went.
  4. If you focus on what is WRONG and what is not working, you will stay out of The Zone! If you focus on what is RIGHT and what IS working, you will get more of it and migrate towards The Zone and be able to stay there more often.
  5. On the other hand, if you ONLY focus on WHAT IS WORKING and do not consider WHAT IS NOT WORKING, you will become one of “those people” who only see the positive, and not face the counter to positive (what is working), which is negative (what is not working).
  6. If you find that you are worried and in a serious mood – this is not in The Zone! Make an effort to shift into a more playful, light and fun mood. Fun and laughter will have you moving up and into The Zone. Worry and seriousness are certain Zone killers.
  7. If your primary relationship is not working, and you have conflict and disagreements on a regular basis, it will be difficult to sustain long periods in The Zone. The maximum flow comes from harmony. Like music, disharmony is painful!
  8. Take time to choose and organize your environment. Chaotic, harsh and dramatic environments are certain Zone killers. Think about it… if you are sitting on an uncomfortable chair, with bright fluorescent lights with lots of loud noise – how difficult is it to get in The Zone?
  9. Whatever you are feeling on the inside can often lag behind your actual reality. So focus on what is working and make the changes necessary to bring your “inside” in alignment with your “outside.”
  10. Focus on your wins and celebrate your success. If you are part of a team, create a culture of acknowledgement and support.

© Goldzone Education. All rights reserved.