Thirteen Tips to Be a Net Energy Generator

In this article, you will discover thirteen tips
to be a Net Energy Generator!

Imagine a battery that increases in power when you use it and decreases when you don’t. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Well, the incredible news is that you have such a battery… an emotional one!

This is how emotions work. The more you express or use them – the more they grow and the more energy you have. When you withhold, contain or suppress them the less energy you have.

This is why some people end up being emotionally bankrupt. They stop putting out or giving and end up taking. They say little which forces the other people around them to give by way of saying more to fill the empty space. Their emotional battery is empty. In other words they are emotionally bankrupt.

Emotionally bankrupt means you put out less than you receive. The key to success in life is to be a net generator of energy…

Whenever you give more than you receive, you are communicating to yourself, the world around you and other people that you believe in abundance. Regardless of your financial status or position in society, it is possible to generate more energy than you receive. Eventually the excess giving creates a vacuum that can’t help but flow back to you.

This positive flow back can be in the form of good luck, energy or good old CASH. Personally I have experienced all three. I find myself easily being in the right place at the right time… people respond positively to me and make huge efforts to give me what I am asking for. Sometimes without me even saying anything. Yup, sounds hokey, but it is true.

I was at my favorite restaurant in Beverly Hills the other day and ordered my usual organic chicken soup for lunch. The restaurant is also in Paris and when there, I like to order what they call a chicken Pot-au-feu and it comes automatically with Harissa (Tunisian hot chili pepper paste). So this day in Beverly Hills I thought of Harissa but didn’t say anything, in fact I didn’t even know if they had Harissa! Can you guess what happened? The waiter brought my usual chicken soup and without saying a word brought a jar of Harissa! Wow. Coincidence? I don’t think so.

If you are wondering if that is an isolated incident, I can assure you I have had too many experiences like this to count…

Most people think that emotions are like any other scarce resource that must be held back, saved and conserved. This is so wrong! Emotions are nothing like scarce resources, in fact they operate by different rules.

These rules can be learnt. Applied and if you do, you will experience an almost immediate increase in energy and wellbeing. Little by little you will become more and more lucky. How does that sound?

Thirteen tips to be a net energy generator:

1. Tell people what you like about them or what they did.
2. Greet people with enthusiasm.
3. Smile.
4. Give heartfelt appreciation whenever people give you something or do something for you.
5. Use people’s names – they love it!
6. Offer sincere and heartfelt compliments when they do something special or look exceptionally great.
7. Show an interest in people’s lives and notice when they are not happy or are having a bad day.
8. Ask how people are doing and listen when they tell you.
9. Pay larger than normal tips to service staff.
10. Always give more than you receive.
11. Minimize complaining, and if you do complain, offer a solution.
12. Leave every conversation or environment better off than when you found it.
13. Look for the good purpose in every situation, regardless of how negative it may appear.

Good luck and here is to more energy! XOXO

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MOVIE > The Giver

Set in the year 2048, after a war, the community elders thought it was a good idea to remove all race, emotions and as many differences as possible.

Hmmmm… sounds like removing many of the very qualities that make us human!

Before watching this movie I had never heard of the book that it is based on… I was looking for a movie to watch one evening and stumbled on it in iTunes.

Filled with A-List actors this movie delivers. I totally loved it! My most profound takeaway is that no matter how well intentioned people are, in their “infinite wisdom” by removing what makes us human in order to make us “safer” they create a new set of horrors. This manifests as good people engaging in unspeakable acts without even realizing it.

This has me thinking about certain people and cultures that find emotions so difficult to handle that they suppress, cover up and deny them… in the end lacking feelings, perhaps most importantly lacking empathy for the suffering of others…

It is the full range of emotions from the depths of sadness to the highs of joy and ecstasy that has us being fully alive…

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Art de Vivre – Joie de Vivre

It’s all about personal quality of life. What good is it to have wealth, power, influence and yet feel miserable?

It is easy to rush through life, from meeting to meeting, event to event and not even notice the details. Small things. Important things.

Numb seems to be the new normal for many people. Is it any wonder that drug use is at an all-time high? The path from numb to joy of living is long, winding and often akin to playing snakes and ladders. “Back to square one” seems an all too often occurrence.

Unlike board games, in life we can never go back. No matter how it feels we can never unlearn an experience because every event, every moment forever changes us. What we can do is change our mind about what the experience means. Old experiences can offer new lessons.

Accepting emotions – all of them – is the “secret sauce” to experiencing joy in life. Rushing serves to deepen the numbness… lingering opens up the flavors of experience and allows the senses to activate. Feelings rise. Both wanted and unwanted.

Instead of crashing through life, designing a career, a certain amount of money… what would happen if one lived as if life itself were a work of art?

Become your own artist and infuse art into everything you do…

Art de Vivre: your smile… your hair… your clothes… your work… your house… your car… your cup of coffee… your expression… your posture… your writing… your cooking… your dinner setting… your afternoon snack… your hand holding… your conversation… your travel… your love notes… your attitude… your dreams… your nightmares… your lovemaking… your decor… your office… your voicemail… your entertaining… your values… your beliefs… your vacations… your expression when you eat… your hug when you meet a friend… your handshake when you meet a stranger… your desert… your nutrition… your hydration… your garden… your sunglasses… your shoes… your socks… your aging… your death…

Yes! All of life is art. Mastering the joy of living – in the moment – with people you love is what makes life worthwhile.

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Playing to WIN or Playing Not to LOSE

In the game of life and business, you could easily assume that most people play the game to win. Why play at all if it isn’t to win? After all, that is the purpose of the game, isn’t it?

Unfortunately, the majority of people don’t play to win — they play not to lose. You may have heard people say, “I hate to lose.”

When playing to win, you understand and accept that losing is sometimes part of the game. However, you do whatever it takes (legally, ethically and morally) to win.

When playing not to lose, you feel that you must not lose — no matter what.  You play conservatively and avoid risk because your desire not to lose is greater than your desire to win.

And here is the rub… other players will exploit your unwillingness to lose — which will have you losing!

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ZONE TIPS > Your Feelings Are Not Reliable

Feelings are important to our experience of living as human beings. It is said that all mammals have some feelings; however, as human beings we have the widest range of feelings. Beyond the basic triad of pain, pleasure and numb, we have a lot of nuances to describe how we feel at any given moment — about everything we experience.

When it comes to making decisions, even the most rational, seemingly emotionless decision-makers are, unbeknownst to them, influenced by their feelings — even if they are not consciously aware of them. Even no feeling is a feeling.

Because of past things that have happened to us (both real and imagined) we tend to have conflicting emotions, as well as stacks of misplaced emotions, that get projected onto items, areas, subjects and people that they do not belong to.

If we make decisions based on how we feel, we will often get ourselves into trouble. On the other hand if we ignore how we feel, and make decisions that are based on the ultimate rational logic, we will also get into trouble. So the optimum decision-making method is to balance both rational and emotional factors to arrive at the best outcome possible under the circumstances.

When it comes to working towards a goal or intended outcome, we can be succeeding and making progress, and yet our emotions could be indicating that nothing is working and we are going to fail!  The opposite is also true, where we are doing poorly and yet feel on top of the world.  Most people would think this is not possible, and that surely when going up, one would feel up, and when going down, one would have that dreaded sinking feeling. For a variety of reasons, our emotions get mixed up and we feel the wrong thing at the wrong time.  This leads us to make incorrect assessments and assumptions.

That sounds scary, so what do we do about it? The fastest, easiest and most reliable thing to do is to use statistics and measurements to track your progress.  Then there is no emotion involved and it is simply a matter of “What does the stat show”? An analogy for this is when a pilot is flying a plane in bad weather when they cannot see the horizon. The pilot’s feelings and sense of direction can get so confused by the lack of visual stimuli, that up feels like down and down can feel like up… yikes! How does a pilot handle this phenomena? They fly by instruments.  So, rather than relying on your feelings for your decision-making and assessment of how you are doing, look to your instruments — otherwise known as statistics.

Here are just some statistics that you could measure, record and plot on a graph to show progress and the trend over time (in no particular order):

1. net worth
2. bank balance
3. weight
4. body measurements
5. mood level
6. number of fights with people
7. days without a fight
8. number of magic moments
9. income
10. expenses
11. blood pressure
12. depressed days
13. inspired days
14. energy level
15. total debt
16. total assets
17. days you exercise
18. dates of sexual activity
19. number of headaches
20. dollars invested

This list is by no means exhaustive; there are many more items you could track statistics on. We recommend you make your own list and begin tracking stats!

BTW, some people will have feelings about stats and the accountability that comes with them.  These feelings may get in the way of taking action…

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What Are Emotions?

In this article, you will discover the language of
emotion, where they come from and why
emotion drives everything.

Love, anger, hate, fear. These are examples of emotions. Most people spend their time chasing emotions they want and avoiding emotions they don’t want. The trouble with living this way is that the emotions you are chasing seem to run away faster than you can catch them – and the emotions you are avoiding (or running from) seem to follow you wherever you go!

Research shows that most people make buying decisions emotionally, followed by rational, logical justifications. This means that in order to lead or influence people – you must move them emotionally. This is impossible to do – authentically – if you are not moved emotionally yourself.

What are emotions anyway?

From mid-16th century French, the word e-mo-tion is derived from the Latin word emovere, which means to excite, to move. Emotions range from feeling nothing or being numb, all the way to feeling fully alive. Emotion could be described as Energy in Motion or in other words, it is the energy that creates our motion.  It is the fuel that moves us.  Just as there are positive and negative flows of electricity, there are positive and negative flows of emotion. You could say this as moving towards, and moving away from.

When we are attracted to something or are feeling enthusiasm – we move towards it.  When we are feeling angry – we attack (which moves the target away.)  When we are scared – we move away from the potential threat.  When we have given up – we go numb. And when we are numb – we have no idea how we feel about anything!

Most of our actions are driven by these known and unknown emotions.  How we feel about people, places and events dictate our actions or how we behave.

All emotions involve both a physical and mental component. We feel them physically in our bodies and along with these feelings are packages of thoughts and beliefs. Some people say that the thought creates the feeling; others say that feeling creates the thought. I don’t think it matters which creates the other, as they clearly go together.

Childhood influence

From the time that we were small children, we were taught by people who we loved and trusted that there are “good” emotions and “bad” emotions.  For example, we may have been told that anger was OK and joy was not OK.  In other families, they were told that anger was not OK and joy was OK.

To fully understand the role of emotions in our lives requires us to consider changing this childhood programming: What is an OK feeling and what is a not-OK feeling? Our judgments of good and bad have us suppressing what we consider to be bad, and over-expressing what we consider to be good.  Whenever we are over-expressing, we are not being authentic and are acting.  Acting takes a lot of energy/Lifeforce to maintain and can feel like hype to others.

Why can’t I feel?

Whenever we suppress a feeling, it stays locked within us and denies access to our energy, our vital force.  This is because emotions are an integral component of our Lifeforce.  Whenever we block an emotion from flowing, or don’t allow ourselves to feel it, we are blocking our Lifeforce. It is common for people to suppress unwanted emotions.  They are not realizing that their ability to experience desirable emotions is limited by this same suppression.

To the degree that you can experience the depths of the unwanted emotions, you can also experience the highs of the desirable emotions. For many of us, a lifetime of emotional suppression has caused us to “numb out” to how we feel about many of the people and events in our lives. People who are numbed out can act in a way that is harmful to others because they are disconnected from their own and other people’s feelings.

“Putting up with” has a hidden cost

An example of this numbing effect is when someone “puts up with” a job they hate over a long period. If they do nothing to change the situation, they may become numb in order to cope. This numbness can prevent them from connecting with their real passion and can make it difficult for them to start a business, change jobs, or change careers. In fact, if you suggest that this person consider a new career, you will run into their resistance and lack of motivation. Ask any numb person to change, and you will run into the same phenomena.

This does not mean that we should express all our emotions inappropriately, or in a way that infringes on the rights of others. Allowing ourselves to fully experience the emotion will allow it to flow. When our feelings flow, so does our life.  When our feelings are blocked, our lives are filled with struggle, drama, and problems.

Mis-wired emotions

Some people assert that you can’t feel anything unless you choose to. Next time someone purposely stomps on your foot to enjoy your pain, try and remember that! Chances are no matter how calm you are, you will feel angry. If your response is joy and happiness, then you may be suffering from a common affliction of mis-wired emotions – in other words, feeling a different emotion than what most people would consider normal.

To share an example of this, a few years ago I attended a funeral where the widow of the deceased was laughing loudly with other family members right before the coffin was lowered into the grave. Most people would find that unusual or abnormal. An appropriate emotion at a funeral would be grief and sadness along with a cocktail of other emotions as the mourners remember the good, the bad and the “other” from the deceased’s life.

Emotional mastery

The mastery and understanding of our emotions is essential to the understanding and mastery of life. So what would happen if people learned about feelings, and their impact on life? What would happen if people listened to their intuition and their emotional natures more and included this input into their decision-making? What would happen if people learned safe ways to express their feelings – rather than suppress them?

We would have happier, more fulfilled, more balanced, more loving societies.

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